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Монолог Эллен от 13.09.2010. Премьера 8 сезона

Отправлено в 22.09.2010 – 17:00 | Метки:

«I cannot believe that it has been eight years. In the very first day I said, when we first started the show eight years ago, I said, ‘This is going to be like a relationship’, and it has been…»

Have a seat. Oh, come on! That’s good, thank you, thank you very much! Thank you so much, right back at you, all of you! Have a seat, sit down. How fun is this? How fun is this?

This is so… first of all, welcome to our first show of our eighth season. Eighth, eighth! I cannot believe that it has been eight years. In the very first day I said, when we first started the show eight years ago, I said, ‘This is going to be like a relationship’, and it has been. And we’ve made it past the 7-year itch, everybody! So, nothing is itching, but something burns!

Did you have a good summer? Everybody? Good summer? Boy, I did, I travelled, I went to India, and I ate my way through Rome, and I had a hot love affair with this Brazilian guy, and… I am thinking of Eat, Pray, Love – I confuse movies and myself sometimes…

If it looks like things are a little different – this is… we are shooting actually…for those of you at home going ‘What’s this?’ this is my living-room, we are at home in my living-room. No, we are at Club Nokia in LA, but this is an exact replica of my living-room, this is exactly what it looks like, I have the whole amm… when people come over… it’s just the two chairs! We’re right next door to the MTV Music Awards — literally right next door! If you listen, you can just hear Justin Bieber growing!..

It’s fun to be next door to the WMAs, I was just there a little while ago, I presented the first award of the night to Lady Gaga! She’s wearing a whole lot of things, when she travels on a plane she has to buy a lot of seats, I bet, because there’s a whole lot of tulle going on. I asked where she was gonna put her awards, cause she’s got a lot of them, she said, on her right shoulder. That’s where she is gonna… She is gonna be here in a little bit later on, also Justin Timberlake, Justin Bieber, Kenny Perry, Usher.

Usher had a big summer, and he had that hit, I just couldn’t get it out of my head, he actually sang it a little while ago on the show, that ‘Let me love you down’. And is it just me orthe lyrics is getting dirtier and dirtier now? When I was growing up songs were about respect, “R-E-S-P-E-C-T!”, and “YMCA”, they taught you how o spell and fun places to stay! Now the songs are about riding magic sticks and not in the Harry Potter way either! The problem is, the songs are catchy! It’s a good tune, and it gets stuck in your head. The other day I was out in public, and I was singing out loud, and I didn’t realize that “Come on rude, boy, boy, is you big enough”, and people were turning around, and looking at me and staring… Anyway, long story short, I am not allowed in that church anymore.

So, anyway… I have to be careful, cause, you know, now I have a little niece. And she is just about two and… or six, I don’t know how old she is, she is too young to be hearing about “Birthday sex”, I know that. It was hard enough to explain about the birds and the bees, but now you have to explain, why “the bird wants to smack the bee’s booty all night long” to the kid.


To make it past — преодолеть
7-year itch – 7-летний кризис отношений, характеризующийся желанием пойти на сторону (itch – чесаться, зудеть, назойливая мысль)
To burn — гореть
To have a love affair – иметь роман
To confuse smth with smth- путать что-то с чем-то
To shoot – зд. снимать (программу)
Literally — буквально
Next door – по-соседству
I bet- зд. уверен(а)
To get it out of (my/her/his, their…) head – выбросить из головы
Dirty (thoughts, lyrics) – пошлые, грязные
To ride a magic stick – ехать на волшебной палке
Catchy (songs) — яркий, запоминающийся,
To get stuck — застрять
Long story short – короче говоря, короче

Монолог Эллен ДеДженерес от 13.09.2010 — русский перевод

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